Monthly Archives: June 2017

Nearly Anniversary

Within 2 weeks, my marriage will step into 5 years old. For five years, I have been spending time with a same guy, which is my husband. And we’ve been blessed by two kids, a girl and a boy. Thinking back, I once wonder, what if I hadn’t gotten married 5 years ago? Or what if my husband and I decided to postpone having a child? If I hadn’t gotten married, I’m definitely still working. And I would be in Jakarta, or in any other city than Samarinda since I don’t like the city at all (I will talk about this in another post). If I hadn’t gotten married, I probably would travel a lot. I’d probably watch Coldplay concert last month. I’d probably still hang out with friends till midnight almost everyday, hahaha. But, I’ve been in that phase, and I was still lonely, even though I was surrounded by many fun friends. Well, I admit that there’s one thing I haven’t felt, which is the traveling part, so I couldn’t compare yet. But can anyone guarantee that I would be happier if my condition is different? If I am still free and single and can go anywhere I like? 

The answer is here..

Everytime I look at my baby’s face, I wish I could freeze time. I wish I could hug and kiss my baby as much as possible. I wish he didn’t grow up so soon. But I also can’t wait to see them growing and I don’t want to miss it, even just a bit. And everytime I feel my husband’s hand in mine and his chest in my cheek, I wish we could be like that forever. 

So, you know the answer. I’m truly happy with my marriage. My husband is not perfect but neither am I. My husband is not perfect but he completes me. He may not say “I love you” everyday, but I know he does. I know he is a very loyal husband and there’s no reason for me not to trust him and not think twice when he proposed a marriage. And you know what, we never fight for these years. Twice or three times in the early years of our marriage, there were “crash” moments between us, but it never stayed long, never made us yell or say bad words to each other. When it happened, when I or both of us got mad, I just cried and my husband made a silent treatment to me. But I’m glad in the last 3 years, we never get mad anymore. 

And as for the kids, I can’t imagine my life without them. When my kids were born, I found a new passion. To be their first teacher. To be their first best friend forever. So I don’t regret at all to have them as immediately as possible after we married. I don’t regret at all to choose these roles, a housewife and a mother. I am looking forward to many of our anniversaries in the future. 

Disliking Monday

It’s 4 am in the morning. It is raining hard. And have been blackout for 2 hours already. I am hungry but too chickened out to get out in the dark, haha.. Normally I would start the day right now since I think it’s just useless to try to sleep again (especially when your tummy’s grumbling). So here I am, waiting for the lights on while hoping to delay the Monday routine as long as possible. Why? Because other than it’s obviously Monday, but also because my husband plans to go out of town until tomorrow. 

Lately, I feel tired doing all the houseworks while handling my 4 year old toddler and a baby who is currently learning to walk from 8 to 6 by my self. And to face it for two days in a row without my husband? Brace myself. Yeah, I don’t know why I don’t enjoy my routine as usual. Usually I am okay with just me and my kid at home, even enjoyed it. But right now I’ve been stressed out, mostly by my baby’s food. Everyday I wake up by thinking “what should I make today for my baby wants to eat?” I wish he could just tell me what he wants and I will make it. Hahahaha.. But he is a baby of course. I know my baby and I prefer Baby-Led Weaning (where you let your baby eat by himself mostly) method but it’s still a very hard work, you know. It’s not easy, but they say it’s worth it. And the other problem is I am not so creative in cooking, so cooking for me is not a fun thing. Cooking is just a responsibility for me. I still much enjoy the role as a teacher to my children rather than a chef, really. This as fact, I can enjoy hours spending to make something for my children to learn but I hate spending hours just in a kitchen. Cooking would be less stressful if I don’t do it while hurrying since I can’t let my baby without me for a long time. So, I just have to be patient, but it’d feel much easier when your husband helps me too through the day.

It’s already 4:30 am in the morning. The light’s already on, thanks God. I’d better get out of my room and start the day to make my morning feel manageable. Please, kiddos, be nice.

P.S : I wish I had chocolate